The Sad Tree:
A story By Drew Greissman.
Once upon a time there was a tree. He was sad.
There was a log next to him, and he freaked out.
The log said, "Oh shit, I am dead."
And the tree said, "Shut up log, I am sad."
The log became a high powered executive, and he made the tree feel bad about being homeless. Oh yeah, the tree was homeless.
Now the tree was in a park, and dogs peed on him. This made the tree mad.
The tree had some stuff carved into him by this asshole guy, and he was even more sad.
This is a subliminal message: What you are reading is really important and offers a lot of insight on life, its meaning, and the end of the world. That is all.
Now that the tree was sad, he wanted to get happy, so he watched Me, myself and Irene and was like “Oh!?!”
Now that the tree had learned about science from the Government, he decided that trees can’t think.
The End.
Epilogue
The tree was later found to be really cool, and was then cut down and made into cosmo girl magazine. Bummer.