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Dear Mr. Tarantino,

Let me start off by saying that I love your work. I’ve seen all your movies and loved them. I think that what you did with Reservoir Dogs was innovative and original. Likewise, I thought that you really developed your style and let it shine through in the Kill Bill movies. I appreciate your work and always look forward to seeing your name on a film, because it means that I am going to be in for a good ride, and will enjoy what I am going to see.

Which brings me to why I am writing you. A couple of years ago, I saw posters for a movie called Hostel, presented by Quentin Tarantino. “Cool,” I thought, “this will definitely be a good thing to go see! Tarantino is helping some young director make a name for himself, that’s honorable. And I bet that the movie’s pretty good, too, since he put his name to it!” So, I saw the movie, and no offense to Mr. Roth, but it was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The whole thing was just a lame rip-off of the Saw movies, except without any suspense or aspects of a thriller. I left the movie, Mr. Tarantino, wondering why you would associate with such a film.

And imagine my surprise, when a couple years later, you’re doing the same thing. What is it that you see in these movies? Have you watched them? Now, I haven’t seen Hostel Part II yet, so forgive me if it is actually good, and I might go see it if reviews are good enough, but I have a feeling that it’s more of the same. Mr. Tarantino, why do you do this to your reputation? Perhaps you don’t care about your reputation, which would be honorable and totally awesome. But I really wonder what it is that you see in these films.

Please, Mr. Tarantino, go back to directing and acting. Crappy, mindless horror movies will do just fine on their own.

Your Fan,
Madison Parks

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OK, I’ve had with you people. You know who you are. Yeah, you’re the people hu tipe like dis. You’re the people hU tInK ItS cOoL 2 tIpE lIkE tHiS aLl ThE tImE!!!!!!!
Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
Just because we’re on the internet does not mean that you can forget everything you know about grammar, spelling, language, or just plain old FUCKING LOGIC AND COMMON SENSE. Seriously, folks, is this really necessary? It actually takes longer to write in alternating caps, and you look like a fucking retard when you intentionally misspell everything. Now, I’m not talking about using internet slang. Sure, it’s a lot easier to write “lol” than “man, that was hilarious”. And that’s fine. It’s also easier to write “g2g” instead of “I have to go, see you later”. But those are mostly used in Instant Messaging. My problem is with the bloggers, with the livejournalers. My problem is with the Facebook and Myspace users who think that it’s cool and hip to write like a fucking six year old. Well, I have news for you people:
iTs NoT kEwL!!!!! K RITE?????!?!?!?!
So, here’s my plea to you all. Write in whatever language you speak, and write properly, because chances are you’re intelligent enough to. But that may be pushing it.

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